A Wonderfully Silly Cover Letter

From: “Kelly N. Vance”
Subject: Freelance Writing Position
Date: October 30, 2013 9:58:12 AM EDT
To: @smilesforall.com

Hello! I’m a self employed freelance writer with six toes and a penchant for violence.

Now that I’ve got your attention, the freelance writer part is true but the six toes and penchant for violence…. not so much. (Unless the espresso machine is broken. Then all bets are off.)

My “big kid” credentials are a B.A. in Psychology, a minor in English and I’ve been a certified personal trainer for ten years. Were it not for humor, I would have found a large bus advertising my favorite TV show and… well… you know.

I love humor but most freelance jobs tend to be on the dry side. They want research. Credentials. Photos of people without hand drawn mustaches. It’s tough.

Here are a few examples that prove I can be an adult when absolutely necessary:



Thank you for your consideration and I look forward to hearing from you!

Kelly “Six Toes” Vance


**Kelly N. Vance is a professional freelance writer with a B.A. in Psychology and ten years in the fitness industry.  Her skills are content writing, editing, cat-wrangling and making up words while claiming they are real.  She may or may not have six toes.

(Be sure to check out all of Kelly’s stories on the site!)