Everything seems far when you have to pee.
— Abby Smith (@ReddHede) December 7, 2013
Am I old if I actually want wool socks for Christmas?
— Addie Weyrich (@spagaddie_sauce) December 9, 2013
Costco is the perfect zombie apocalypse stronghold. It’s sturdy, has supplies, and zombies would need their membership cards to gain access.
— Joseph (@grape73) December 6, 2013
Whatever you’ve achieved in life, even the most humble giraffe will look down on you.
— George Camacho (@georgercamacho) December 9, 2013
Think of a number. Add your age. Divide by 365. Subtract 52, then square it. Now multiply by your height – 3. Wow you’re pretty good at math
— Amelita Lijek (@aaaamelita) December 8, 2013
