When Liam Neeson says “listen” you lean in closer to the television http://t.co/ul311eEJOG
— Official Comedy (@OfficialComedy) January 13, 2014
Karate: if you hate boards but love belts!
— Megan Amram (@meganamram) January 9, 2014
Noah’s flood = God clearing his browser history
— Megan Amram (@meganamram) January 7, 2014
I love my new phone and all the new features I’ll never figure out how to use.
— Paula Pell (@perlapell) January 12, 2014
Come on, Niners! Don’t let the fact that the Panthers’ costumes are prettier get in your head!
— Paula Pell (@perlapell) January 12, 2014
Raisin cookies that look like chocolate chip cookies are the main reason I have trust issues.
— Ashi Labouisse (@AshiLabouisse) January 16, 2014
Being a ghost is the ultimate rent control.
— Josh Gondelman (@joshgondelman) January 17, 2014
Wife: Nice hairdo. Are you going for “mad scientist” or “kid in a bathtub”?
— Andy Schroeder (@AndySchroeder) January 17, 2014
