A Salad Unlike Any Other


My wife and I were having dinner at a fancy Italian restaurant. The waitress took my wife’s order, then went through the usual options for the side dishes. I wish I was paying attention because I could have avoided a rather embarrassing situation.

When it was my turn, I listened carefully to the options…or so I thought. The waitress asked, “Would you like soup or salad? Our soup…today we have chicken dumpling.” What I heard, though, was, “Would you like super salad or soup?…today we have chicken dumpling.” Without hesitation, I slapped my menu closed and confidently declared, “Super salad.”

There was an unexpected silence. I glanced back up at the waitress to make sure she heard me. The look on her face alerted me that something wasn’t right. I looked across at my wife, whose expression confirmed, without a doubt, that I was an idiot. My brain hastily reprocessed the options the waitress had offered and realizing my mistake, I tried to recover as if I were merely thinking out loud. Conjuring up my best pose of contemplation, I thoughtfully rubbed my chin and added, “…which will I have?” But it didn’t fly. Seeing right through my facade, the waitress and my wife looked at each other for affirmation, then burst into laughter.

Now I just have soup.

(image courtesy of tratong/freedigitalphotos.net)