How to Ripen Fruit with The New York Times

New York Times Week in Review and Fruit

October 18, 2014– Dear Secret Diary, I learned not too long ago that you can use The New York Times to ripen fruit.Well, it doesn’t actually have to be The New York Times.  It can be any newspaper.  As you probably know, all you have to do is wrap the fruit in the newspaper, and Mother Nature will do the rest.

The other day, the grocery store delivered some rock hard kiwis.  (Yes one of the nice things about living in New York City is that you can have almost anything delivered for at most a nominal additional fee.  Of course, the downside of this is you don’t get to inspect your food in advance.)

Don’t ask me why Diary, but in getting ready to wrap the fruit in newspaper to ripen it, I actually found myself wondering which would be the best section to use.  Yes I know, this was not a great use of brain power, but that’s what my brain decided to do.

I literally wondered, if I used the front section and the news was bad, would the bad news rub off on the fruit?  If the stock market was up, would using the business section be good for the fruit?  Eventually, I stopped thinking this nonsense and decided to use the Sunday Review (Week in Review) section for the simple reason that it was on the top of the pile, and so it caught my eye.

It turns out that I made a bad decision and should have continued thinking such nonsense– or I guess not nonsense.

Less than ten minutes after I completed wrapping the fruit, my wife walked into the room and asked me, “Where’s the Week in Review?”  I explained that it was acting as a womb for the kiwis, and she asked, “Next time, can you please use the Automobiles Section?”

automobile section

See Diary, I was right.  There is a right section to use… although maybe not for the reasons I was contemplating.  What section would you like me to use?