Pink Slime


With school out for the summer, I try to keep my kids busy with various activities, e.g. craft mornings, $1 movies and the local pool. Before you congratulate me on being a ‘fun mom’, there is an ulterior motive – I have to wear them out so they don’t destroy the house or each other… or my sanity. But there comes a time in every summer vacation that you have to take the kids on the dreaded errand run. Now I try to make it as fun as possible so I don’t have to listen to the ‘I’m bored’ and probably the worst ‘I’m starving’, as this remark is like dominoes, it sets everyone off, suddenly they all realize they are hungry.

Now for my two year old, I usually try to keep his mini-water bottle and some pretzels in my ‘Mary Poppins’ handbag, but instead of just having the one child that accompanies me on my errands, I now have an extra three. Now my ‘Poppins’ bag is full of amazing tricks, but tricks are not going to feed four ‘apparently starving’ children.

It’s growing closer to lunchtime and I still had one more stop to make, as a special treat I said we would stop for lunch somewhere yummy. This of course brought out shouts for their favorite fast food joint. I, however, fancied a slightly healthier fast food joint, so in an effort to sway the crowd I asked, “would you rather go to a restaurant that uses pink slime in its nuggets? Or would you rather go somewhere that uses real chicken? YUM!” Pleased with myself for controlling the crowd, and rather smugly waited for the obvious answer, my four year old piped up rather proudly and very excitedly, “I LOVE pink slime. It’s my favorite!”

Because I’m the adult, I get to overrule, so we went to the ‘healthier’ fast food joint. We walked in, with my four year old trotting ahead, he went straight up to the lady taking our order and announced a bit too loudly. “I would like some pink slime please!” Sometimes I wonder if my children ever listen to a thing I tell them. Today they proved me wrong. They do listen, and they catalog it away, and then retrieve it at precisely the wrong moment.

(photo courtesy of Jaimie Duplass/