Not So Flexible Spectacles


When I was 22, I moved to California, the land of highways. California is a massive state and it has a massive highway system that makes it easy to traverse (and all too easy to sit in traffic!).

I have been wearing glasses since I was in second grade. Like a fish survives in water, never really knowing that it exists for its ubiquity, I wear glasses. I take them off to shower and to sleep, but that’s about it.

Right after I moved out to California, I got these really cool glasses that could be folded in half without breaking. The bridge (right above the nose) was flexible. The design was intended for sports and recreation. I mostly used it as a fun novelty at parties, loving to show off my flexible spectacles, to any captive audience that came along.

After a few months, I started wondering if abusing this ability was a bad idea. I still folded my glasses for the occasional onlooker, but always with a tiny knot in my stomach and the disclaimer that “one of these days, my glasses are going to snap.”

Eventually, I stopped using this particular parlor trick altogether. I had decided it was too risky and I kept my glasses on my face, where they belonged.

So I was driving home one night, ten miles of SoCal highway ahead of me, straight west to the Pacific Ocean and my little apartment by the beach. It had been months since I had abused the rubber holding my 20/20 eye sight in place; I barely even thought about their ability anymore. My glasses were slightly off kilter and using one finger, I casually pushed them back into place.

Suddenly I was blind. And confused. What had just happened?! I realized that after all of those months withstanding my twisting and turning for other’s amusement, my glasses had finally succumbed to the gentlest touch of a single finger. I pulled off the highway and tried to figure out how to drive home with two halves of my glasses. I finally had to settle for one lens, held in place with my squinting, my other eye covered by my hand. It was the scariest drive of my life!

But I learned a valuable lesson. Since that day, I always keep a spare pair of glasses in my car. And I never adjust my glasses while driving.

About Simpleman95

Simpleman95's real name is Josh and his initials are JK. He was destined to make people laugh.

About Simpleman95

Simpleman95's real name is Josh and his initials are JK. He was destined to make people laugh.