What A Demotivating Work Out

My muscles, in the words of Shania Twain, "Don't Impress Me Much."

My muscles, in the words of Shania Twain, “Don’t impress Me Much.”– The Big Milkshake*

April 1– Dear Diary, I really, really, (did I say really?), do not like to work out.  Never liked aerobic exercise, never will.  No “runner’s high” for me.  Nothing of the sort.  Not even sure I really believe in the existence of the “runner’s high.”  I actually think I have a better chance of seeing Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny in my lifetime than in experiencing the so-called “runner’s high.”

The only good thing I can say about aerobic exercise is the physical, emotional, and psychic relief I feel when it is at long last over.

Still, they say to do 20 minutes of aerobic exercise 3-4 times a week.  So for the most part, I am on the elliptical 3 times a week for 20 minutes (plus really brief warmup and cool-down periods).  No chance my heart-rate is actually at aerobic levels for 20 minutes.  Still, I accept my “Gentleman’s C” in Aerobics, and I feel good about it… or at least I did until today.

Today, during my workout, I saw former, basketball great, 7′ 1” Shaquille O’Neil featured on a TV commercial in the gym.  For more than simply a brief moment, Shaq’s arm on this roughly 30-inch diagonal TV looked larger than my arm in real life.  Now particularly since my workout had quite some time to go, I quickly lost what little wind I had in my small sail.  Talk about kicking a guy when he’s down.

* “That Don’t Impress Me Much,” Shania Twain, Come On Over, Limelight Records, 1997.