Vim and Vigor

vigor

In the latter part of my plumbing career, I was a foreman in charge of a small crew of five that were working on a slew of small apartment buildings. We started working at 7:00 AM and went home at 3:30 PM, banker’s hours. Every morning, my boss would drive up in a cloud of dust, in his station wagon, blasting his horn to get my attention.

He wanted a list of material that I would need for the day but the problem was writing material. Usually I wrote on a board laying around. But since it was cold out, and all the wood had been burned to warm our fingers, I had to find something else to write on. I managed to find an empty water heater carton. I cut out one of the side panels and wrote a really long list on it. The list was at least 5 feet high and 3 feet wide. On the bottom of my list I wrote, “25lbs. of Vim,” and under this I wrote, “25 lbs. of Vigor” (This was just my fun way of informing him that I was running out of energy).

He was dumbstruck when he saw the size of my list. He asked me how he could get it through the door of his van. I whipped out my razor blade knife and cut the list into four sections. Now he had a handful of giant playing cards and he gave me a big smile and said, ”That’s more like it.”

An hour later, my boss returned from the supply house with a perplexed look on his face. He said he was able to get everything on my list except for two items.

“Can I ask you a question?” he queried.

“What would you like to know?“ I asked, with an innocent look on my face, already knowing what he was going to ask me.

“What do you intend to do with fertilizer?” he asked with a wrinkled brow (Vigoro was a well known and widely sold fertilizer, and my boss assumed that “Vim” was the short-name for another fertilizer he hadn’t heard of). He had taken me literally and mistook my waning energy to be a need for fertilizer.

All I could do was laugh, but I did explain that Vim and Vigor was the energy I would need to finish the job.

All he said was, “Oh,” and he laughed.

Jerry Goldberg About Jerry Goldberg

Jerry Goldberg grew up on the west side of Chicago. After high school, he was drafted in the Army during the Korean conflict. Upon his honorable discharge, he joined Local 130 in Chicago as a plumber, working from 1952 to 2000. Jerry has been happily married for 60 years, residing with his wife, Gloria, in Huntley, Illinois. They were blessed with two wonderful children, and have three grandchildren and three great-grandchildren.
When his son encouraged him to get online, Jerry replied, “What do I need that for?” But all that changed a year into his retirement, when his daughter gave him a modem for his birthday, opening a whole new chapter. Finding stained glass insufficiently fulfilling, Jerry discovered the AARP message boards and began his one-finger magic. Eventually, he became quite proficient (two fingers), starting a board called, “Jerry’s Corner.”

This board was the second most popular board on AOL. Jerry bantered with any and all, and began writing humorous true stories of his past life. The stories you see here are a compilation of most he has written … enjoy!

Jerry Goldberg About Jerry Goldberg

Jerry Goldberg grew up on the west side of Chicago. After high school, he was drafted in the Army during the Korean conflict. Upon his honorable discharge, he joined Local 130 in Chicago as a plumber, working from 1952 to 2000. Jerry has been happily married for 60 years, residing with his wife, Gloria, in Huntley, Illinois. They were blessed with two wonderful children, and have three grandchildren and three great-grandchildren.
When his son encouraged him to get online, Jerry replied, “What do I need that for?” But all that changed a year into his retirement, when his daughter gave him a modem for his birthday, opening a whole new chapter. Finding stained glass insufficiently fulfilling, Jerry discovered the AARP message boards and began his one-finger magic. Eventually, he became quite proficient (two fingers), starting a board called, “Jerry’s Corner.”

This board was the second most popular board on AOL. Jerry bantered with any and all, and began writing humorous true stories of his past life. The stories you see here are a compilation of most he has written … enjoy!

Smiles For All