The Show Must Go On

home birth

When my wife Dolly and I learned we were going to become parents, we chose home birth. While this decision petrified our acquaintances, we felt just the opposite. If it was good enough for Jesus, cowpokes throughout the 1800’s, and many others, it was good enough for us. Plus, we would be in the comfort of our home and pay a whole lot less, which was music to our ears, as uninsured newlyweds. Besides, I think our doctor already drove a paid-for Porsche, so we knew he would survive without us this time.

So off we went to the requisite classes, complete with a childbirth movie shown in a nearby college lecture hall. Sitting all the way up in the top row, we nestled in to further our budding education. As we watched various animals coming into the world, we shared comments. Near the end, however, Doll found me unresponsive, and when she looked, my head had slumped to one side, with my eyes rolled heavenward. Fearing the worst, she managed to find a doctor who only had to administer smelling salts. I’m just glad I had not enrolled in medical school.

Believe it or not, I remained resolute on the home birth anyway. Unfortunately for me, Doll’s labor was practically nonexistent. Her water suddenly broke and all at once it was showtime. Our midwife knew from the controlled urgency in my voice that my desire for his immediate presence was no underestimation. Meanwhile, Doll felt urgency of her own, unsure she could wait much longer. And right there our child’s head was crowning, just like in the movie. As I wondered what to do, the midwife arrived before my urgency reached critical mass. Free to take a step back and relax, I lost no time passing out again — which only the nurse assistant and not my wife, noticed at the time.

Despite all the high drama, we were still glad we opted for home birth. Somehow, though, we remained undeterred in our plans to do it again, but with one possible addition to our list of medical supplies — a neck brace for me.

(illustration courtesy of Crafty Joe/Freedigitalphotos.net)

Chuck Goldberg About Chuck Goldberg

Chuck Goldberg has a degree in journalism and a Master of Divinity in Christian education. A former newspaper reporter and magazine managing editor, he is now a government employee, ordained minister and freelance writer-editor. He and his wife Dolly have three children and live in Layton, Utah.

Chuck Goldberg About Chuck Goldberg

Chuck Goldberg has a degree in journalism and a Master of Divinity in Christian education. A former newspaper reporter and magazine managing editor, he is now a government employee, ordained minister and freelance writer-editor. He and his wife Dolly have three children and live in Layton, Utah.

  • AlpacaLover <3

    I’m hearing Freddie Mercury scream “SHOW MUST GO ON!” when I read the title.

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