The Nutcracker

grandmother

My grandmother was very special to me. She made me her first assistant when it came to making challah. It seemed like magic to me when she took a large lump of dough, kneaded it, and when it came out toasted from the oven, it was incredibly delicious. She even let me have the first slice after first smearing it with schmaltz and gribnas (chicken fat). Who knew I was committing digestive suicide? All I know was that it tasted wonderful.

Every cake she made usually had walnuts in it, and I was the main nutcracker. She had a small cast iron lion and to crack a walnut you raised the tail, which made the lion’s jaws open, placed the walnut between its teeth and lowered the tail until it cracked open the nut. I had more nuts on the floor than on the table.

My grandmother always had a smile. I never saw her angry and she had a delightful sense of humor. Whenever I would ask her for something unreasonable or difficult to obtain, she would always ask, “Do you want the piano on the roof too?” My mother picked up on that phrase, and soon I was visualizing pianos on the roof while I slept.

In one dream, I had devised a pulley and managed to get the piano on the roof. In my dream, when my grandmother saw it, all she said was, “So?”

(photo courtesy of Tihis/Dreamstime.com)

Jerry Goldberg About Jerry Goldberg

Jerry Goldberg grew up on the west side of Chicago. After high school, he was drafted in the Army during the Korean conflict. Upon his honorable discharge, he joined Local 130 in Chicago as a plumber, working from 1952 to 2000. Jerry has been happily married for 60 years, residing with his wife, Gloria, in Huntley, Illinois. They were blessed with two wonderful children, and have three grandchildren and three great-grandchildren.
When his son encouraged him to get online, Jerry replied, “What do I need that for?” But all that changed a year into his retirement, when his daughter gave him a modem for his birthday, opening a whole new chapter. Finding stained glass insufficiently fulfilling, Jerry discovered the AARP message boards and began his one-finger magic. Eventually, he became quite proficient (two fingers), starting a board called, “Jerry’s Corner.”

This board was the second most popular board on AOL. Jerry bantered with any and all, and began writing humorous true stories of his past life. The stories you see here are a compilation of most he has written … enjoy!

Jerry Goldberg About Jerry Goldberg

Jerry Goldberg grew up on the west side of Chicago. After high school, he was drafted in the Army during the Korean conflict. Upon his honorable discharge, he joined Local 130 in Chicago as a plumber, working from 1952 to 2000. Jerry has been happily married for 60 years, residing with his wife, Gloria, in Huntley, Illinois. They were blessed with two wonderful children, and have three grandchildren and three great-grandchildren.
When his son encouraged him to get online, Jerry replied, “What do I need that for?” But all that changed a year into his retirement, when his daughter gave him a modem for his birthday, opening a whole new chapter. Finding stained glass insufficiently fulfilling, Jerry discovered the AARP message boards and began his one-finger magic. Eventually, he became quite proficient (two fingers), starting a board called, “Jerry’s Corner.”

This board was the second most popular board on AOL. Jerry bantered with any and all, and began writing humorous true stories of his past life. The stories you see here are a compilation of most he has written … enjoy!

  • Vincy R.

    Your Grandmother is seems to be really sweet.

    Fun story Jerry!

Smiles For All