Selling Shoes

SellingShoes

My friend Bernie was the manager of a large shoe store in a north suburb of Chicago. He had a terrific personality and was very well liked.

A woman entered his store, ready to be waited on. She told Bernie she wanted the brown shoe displayed in the window in a size six. He knew exactly the one she was talking about, but it puzzled him that she had asked for a six when he was certain she wore at least a nine.

He took out his foot measuring device but she stopped him and told him it wouldn’t be necessary to measure her because she had been wearing the same size for years and it never changed. Bernie was shocked by her response. He knew this woman couldn’t squeeze into a size six with a jar of lubricant and a 6’ crowbar.

It’s a long walk to the storeroom and Bernie hated to walk all the way there for naught, so he figured he’d bring a six and a nine just to be diplomatic. Trying to keep his voice on an even keel he asked the woman if she was positive she wore a size 6. “I’m sure,” she said, ”I’ve been wearing the same size for years, it never changes.”

When Bernie returns with the shoes he takes the size six shoes out of the box ready to make a futile attempt to slip them on. He’s wondering where this is going. She takes the shoes out of Bernie’s hands, sets them down, opens her purse and whips out a barber’s razor.

The woman bends down and slashes the back of each shoe with the razor. He stood there stunned, unable to speak. The woman steps into the shoes and tells Bernie they fit perfectly and are extremely comfortable. She told him that from now on she would ask for him every time she came into the store. Bernie told her to hurry back, she’s easy to fit.

(photo courtesy of marin/freedigitalphotos.net)

Jerry Goldberg About Jerry Goldberg

Jerry Goldberg grew up on the west side of Chicago. After high school, he was drafted in the Army during the Korean conflict. Upon his honorable discharge, he joined Local 130 in Chicago as a plumber, working from 1952 to 2000. Jerry has been happily married for 60 years, residing with his wife, Gloria, in Huntley, Illinois. They were blessed with two wonderful children, and have three grandchildren and three great-grandchildren.
When his son encouraged him to get online, Jerry replied, “What do I need that for?” But all that changed a year into his retirement, when his daughter gave him a modem for his birthday, opening a whole new chapter. Finding stained glass insufficiently fulfilling, Jerry discovered the AARP message boards and began his one-finger magic. Eventually, he became quite proficient (two fingers), starting a board called, “Jerry’s Corner.”

This board was the second most popular board on AOL. Jerry bantered with any and all, and began writing humorous true stories of his past life. The stories you see here are a compilation of most he has written … enjoy!

Jerry Goldberg About Jerry Goldberg

Jerry Goldberg grew up on the west side of Chicago. After high school, he was drafted in the Army during the Korean conflict. Upon his honorable discharge, he joined Local 130 in Chicago as a plumber, working from 1952 to 2000. Jerry has been happily married for 60 years, residing with his wife, Gloria, in Huntley, Illinois. They were blessed with two wonderful children, and have three grandchildren and three great-grandchildren.
When his son encouraged him to get online, Jerry replied, “What do I need that for?” But all that changed a year into his retirement, when his daughter gave him a modem for his birthday, opening a whole new chapter. Finding stained glass insufficiently fulfilling, Jerry discovered the AARP message boards and began his one-finger magic. Eventually, he became quite proficient (two fingers), starting a board called, “Jerry’s Corner.”

This board was the second most popular board on AOL. Jerry bantered with any and all, and began writing humorous true stories of his past life. The stories you see here are a compilation of most he has written … enjoy!

  • Hey, whatever works! I might go back to my favorite pair of light-up shoes and try that method of fitting…

Smiles For All