How Reading Made Me Uglier

reading

One afternoon, reading a book changed my life. Well at least for a week. It transformed me… literally.

It was a rainy afternoon and what better way to spend the time than to lie on your couch, have a real engrossing book and a tumbler full of chocolate milk at hand?

I could have done better without the tumbler.

You see, I was so hooked into the book that I didn’t notice my chocolate milk running out. Other than reading, I did other survival things (like say, drinking my chocolate milk) on automatic. Being a kid at heart, I “automatically” placed the already empty tumbler’s mouth on my own mouth and sucked the air out of it like I have these vacuum lips—just one of those silly things like kids (and some adults) do such as making bubbles on their drinks.

I swear, I could have stood up and danced and yet that tumbler would keep on sticking to the skin around my mouth because of the vacuum formed—it only fell the moment I exhaled. I did the vacuum thing again and again and again as I got more deeply engrossed with the book. I only stopped doing it when I finally had to get up and pee.

You already know what happened next, right?

I passed by my mirror as I got up to pee, and like a reflex, I glanced at it and saw the most amazing thing.

A lip shiner.

A shining, shimmering, large bruise making a perfect circle around my mouth. It’s like clown lips but much more awful. I instantly forgot all urges to pee and stood staring, open-mouthed, in disbelief at that brutally honest mirror.

So that’s how reading a book changed my life and made me much uglier for an entire week.

I can’t do anything to that lip bruise other than wait for it to naturally fade. And since I have to actually go out and meet people, I was in a state of panic. How could I ever go to work with my natural clown lips? Well, I guess I just have to tell people I have this really infectious cold and that I have to wear this face mask all the time. Easy-peasy, right? You should try it yourself sometime, I’m telling you it’s a lot of fun!

No, it’s not.

(photo courtesy of Sonechka/Dreamstime.com)

Jenny Duptsi About Jenny Duptsi

Jenny Duptsi writes for food and for the sheer pleasure she gets from it. When she’s not writing, she either just pigs out or makes a living by wiping other people’s poop. You can check out her blog at www.happinessisnotadisease.wordpress.com

Jenny Duptsi About Jenny Duptsi

Jenny Duptsi writes for food and for the sheer pleasure she gets from it. When she’s not writing, she either just pigs out or makes a living by wiping other people’s poop. You can check out her blog at www.happinessisnotadisease.wordpress.com

  • Does reading this makes me uglier too?? Hope not.

    • TheBigMilkshake

      Of course not OblongOrange, but it does make you oranger

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