The New York Experience Through Haikus

I wrote some haikus about my experiences living in New York City. It should be noted that these haikus are written in the Contemporary English “5-7-5”  verse form. It should also be noted that I am NOT Japanese.

New York City: Lots of
people around me. All the time.
Still pretty lonely.

Can’t wait until lunch
I will have a bagel please!
No. Wait. Pizza!

Times Square: marquees, stores
spray paint art, Ruby Tuesdays,
and more spray paint art.

Don’t make eye contact.
Put in your earbuds. Play dead.
Fine. Here’s a dollar.

Where’s my metro card?
WHERE’S MY MONTHLY METRO CARD?
No no no no no.

Okcupid date:
Worst experience of my life.
Maybe try Tinder?

Oh no. What is that?
Please do not tell me bedbugs.
PLEASE. PLEASE N- Oh, it’s lint.

Was that Matt LeBlanc?
I think that was Matt LeBlanc!
That was Matt LeBlanc.

So what do you do?
“I am a stand-up comedian”,
everyone shouted.

So what do you do?
“I work at Huffington Post”,
everyone shouted.

So what do you do?
“Hey you, get out of my way”,
everyone shouted.

*Colin Burgess is a stand up comedian in New York City. Check out more of his comedy on his blog: colinburgess.tumblr.com