I wrote some haikus about my experiences living in New York City. It should be noted that these haikus are written in the Contemporary English “5-7-5” verse form. It should also be noted that I am NOT Japanese.
New York City: Lots of
people around me. All the time.
Still pretty lonely.
Can’t wait until lunch
I will have a bagel please!
No. Wait. Pizza!
Times Square: marquees, stores
spray paint art, Ruby Tuesdays,
and more spray paint art.
Don’t make eye contact.
Put in your earbuds. Play dead.
Fine. Here’s a dollar.
Where’s my metro card?
WHERE’S MY MONTHLY METRO CARD?
No no no no no.
Okcupid date:
Worst experience of my life.
Maybe try Tinder?
Oh no. What is that?
Please do not tell me bedbugs.
PLEASE. PLEASE N- Oh, it’s lint.
Was that Matt LeBlanc?
I think that was Matt LeBlanc!
That was Matt LeBlanc.
So what do you do?
“I am a stand-up comedian”,
everyone shouted.
So what do you do?
“I work at Huffington Post”,
everyone shouted.
So what do you do?
“Hey you, get out of my way”,
everyone shouted.
*Colin Burgess is a stand up comedian in New York City. Check out more of his comedy on his blog: colinburgess.tumblr.com