Custom Underwear

underwear

One summer I worked for my Uncle Harry in his pawn shop on North Ave. My Uncle had a penchant for practical jokes. This is an example of the chicanery my uncle pulled off at his pawn shop:

Harry sold everything and anything in his store. Mostly he carried musical instruments, but plenty of other things that aren’t usually found in a pawn shop. After I mistakenly sold a young gal a skating suitcase for cost, Harry did the main selling. My selling career was hanging by a frayed thread. Whenever a customer walked in, I tried to make myself invisible.

A male customer walks in and Harry becomes the point man.

”May I help you sir?” he asks politely.

”Yes, I would like a pair of long underwear,” the man states in a firm tone.

”You see that carpeted table in the rear; he asks the man, I would like you to lay down flat on your back so I can measure you.”

The man is startled and tells Harry he knows his size.

”Sir, we only sell custom underwear here, if you just want any old underwear you can buy it at any department store,” Harry states firmly.

”Will it cost me extra?” the man asks.

”Some places charge extra but our policy is not to take advantage of the customer. We customize our underwear at no added cost.”

The man is truly impressed, climbs up on the table and lays down flat on his back to be measured. Harry whips out a piece of white chalk, draws a line on the carpeted table all around the circumference of the man’s body and tells him the process is completed. He gives the man a claim check and tells him to return on Wednesday.

On Wednesday the man shows up as soon as the doors open. Harry is busy with another customer and whispers in my ear to give him a medium. When I hand the customer the underwear he tells me that this was the first time in his life he had ever bought custom underwear. I told him to wear it well. He said he was going to tell all his friends about our service. I told him not to be a stranger.

Jerry Goldberg About Jerry Goldberg

Jerry Goldberg grew up on the west side of Chicago. After high school, he was drafted in the Army during the Korean conflict. Upon his honorable discharge, he joined Local 130 in Chicago as a plumber, working from 1952 to 2000. Jerry has been happily married for 60 years, residing with his wife, Gloria, in Huntley, Illinois. They were blessed with two wonderful children, and have three grandchildren and three great-grandchildren.
When his son encouraged him to get online, Jerry replied, “What do I need that for?” But all that changed a year into his retirement, when his daughter gave him a modem for his birthday, opening a whole new chapter. Finding stained glass insufficiently fulfilling, Jerry discovered the AARP message boards and began his one-finger magic. Eventually, he became quite proficient (two fingers), starting a board called, “Jerry’s Corner.”

This board was the second most popular board on AOL. Jerry bantered with any and all, and began writing humorous true stories of his past life. The stories you see here are a compilation of most he has written … enjoy!

Jerry Goldberg About Jerry Goldberg

Jerry Goldberg grew up on the west side of Chicago. After high school, he was drafted in the Army during the Korean conflict. Upon his honorable discharge, he joined Local 130 in Chicago as a plumber, working from 1952 to 2000. Jerry has been happily married for 60 years, residing with his wife, Gloria, in Huntley, Illinois. They were blessed with two wonderful children, and have three grandchildren and three great-grandchildren.
When his son encouraged him to get online, Jerry replied, “What do I need that for?” But all that changed a year into his retirement, when his daughter gave him a modem for his birthday, opening a whole new chapter. Finding stained glass insufficiently fulfilling, Jerry discovered the AARP message boards and began his one-finger magic. Eventually, he became quite proficient (two fingers), starting a board called, “Jerry’s Corner.”

This board was the second most popular board on AOL. Jerry bantered with any and all, and began writing humorous true stories of his past life. The stories you see here are a compilation of most he has written … enjoy!

Smiles For All