The Bike Guy

bike

We’ve been living in Sun City for thirteen years and things are beginning to deteriorate. Just normal wear and tear. For instance, I had a hole in my door-sized sliding patio screen. I tried gluing a mesh patch on it but that didn’t look too good.

When I got a flyer in the front door saying that they would come pick up my screen and replace the mesh for a nominal sum I called the guy. I just couldn’t fit the screen in my Honda Insight so this was the perfect solution.

The owner was very personable and he said he would pick up my screen on the following day. It wasn’t even necessary for me to be home.

That night I woke in a cold sweat. I had an epiphany. A sudden realization that there was no way the guy could get my screen because I had never unlocked it. Quickly I ran to the patio in my shorts, unlocked the door and returned to the wonderful dream I was having.

The next day the guy never came, but he called me in the evening to tell me he worked fourteen hours straight installing screens and he would get to mine the following day.

The next day my wife went to play Bridge and I went to our local lake to catch some small-mouth bass. With only twelve worms I ended up catching and releasing twenty-six fish. They wore me out but I really enjoyed it and I practically had the lake to myself.

Leaving the parking lot I had to wait for a bicyclist to pass the exit. I couldn’t believe my eyes. This kid was holding two large slider screens under his left arm while trying to balance the bike with his right arm. He wasn’t even wearing a helmet. I realized that one of those screens must have been mine. Sure enough, when I returned home my screen was gone.

I was supposed to get the screen back back yesterday but yesterday it rained all day. Apparently he hasn’t learned how to hold an umbrella in his teeth while trying to carry screens and balance a bike. This tells me he never worked in a circus. If he comes today I’m going to ask him if he could use a partner. We could deliver on a tandem bike and I could hold the umbrella over his head when it rains. He could double his business. What a dynamic duo we would make.

(photo courtesy of Claudio Fichera/Dreamstime.com)

Jerry Goldberg About Jerry Goldberg

Jerry Goldberg grew up on the west side of Chicago. After high school, he was drafted in the Army during the Korean conflict. Upon his honorable discharge, he joined Local 130 in Chicago as a plumber, working from 1952 to 2000. Jerry has been happily married for 60 years, residing with his wife, Gloria, in Huntley, Illinois. They were blessed with two wonderful children, and have three grandchildren and three great-grandchildren.
When his son encouraged him to get online, Jerry replied, "What do I need that for?" But all that changed a year into his retirement, when his daughter gave him a modem for his birthday, opening a whole new chapter. Finding stained glass insufficiently fulfilling, Jerry discovered the AARP message boards and began his one-finger magic. Eventually, he became quite proficient (two fingers), starting a board called, "Jerry's Corner."

This board was the second most popular board on AOL. Jerry bantered with any and all, and began writing humorous true stories of his past life. The stories you see here are a compilation of most he has written ... enjoy!

Jerry Goldberg About Jerry Goldberg

Jerry Goldberg grew up on the west side of Chicago. After high school, he was drafted in the Army during the Korean conflict. Upon his honorable discharge, he joined Local 130 in Chicago as a plumber, working from 1952 to 2000. Jerry has been happily married for 60 years, residing with his wife, Gloria, in Huntley, Illinois. They were blessed with two wonderful children, and have three grandchildren and three great-grandchildren.
When his son encouraged him to get online, Jerry replied, "What do I need that for?" But all that changed a year into his retirement, when his daughter gave him a modem for his birthday, opening a whole new chapter. Finding stained glass insufficiently fulfilling, Jerry discovered the AARP message boards and began his one-finger magic. Eventually, he became quite proficient (two fingers), starting a board called, "Jerry's Corner."

This board was the second most popular board on AOL. Jerry bantered with any and all, and began writing humorous true stories of his past life. The stories you see here are a compilation of most he has written ... enjoy!

Smiles For All