A Very Flexible Waitress

Attack Waitress

February 28, 2015– Dear Secret Diary, some time ago, I was in a coffee shop that featured the accompanying “Attack Waitress” sign. ย  ย 

I was curious as to the meaning ofย  “Attack Waitress.”

Did it mean she would attack my plate and try to eat my own food out from under me?

Did it mean that, if it looked like I was not relishing the food she had put in front of me, she’d put me in a headlock until I cleaned my plate?

Maybe it meant that, if I tried to change my order once she had put it into the kitchen, she’d glare at me until I folded?

I asked her, “You’re not an attack waitress are you?”

She responded, “I can be in a heart beat.”

Despite her big smile, I didn’t doubt her for a second so discretion being the better part of valor I made no further inquiries.

I do point out that the waitress was also really nice, funny, and cool.

  • Niddler5Seramos

    Would you be surprise if she was a secret agent disguising as a waitress?

    • TheBigMilkshake

      Now that you mention it Niddler5Seramos, no I wouldn’t.

  • Nippon

    It’s that coffee shop where you wash the dishes and utensils you used or the waitress will break your neck.

    • TheBigMilkshake

      I don’t know, as soon as we were finished eating, we ran and never looked back.

    • Julio120

      Its called self-service diner.

      • TheBigMilkshake

        Brilliant Julio, am all over that!

      • AlpacaLover <3

        It’s also called dining-at-home.

        • TheBigMilkshake

          ๐Ÿ™‚ LOL

        • Will De Jong

          Spot-on correct!

        • Glass of Heart

          Nailed it! =p

        • Vincy R.

          Couldn’t agree more!

        • Lin


  • Big Joe Joe

    You’ll have to let the counter keep the change

    • TheBigMilkshake

      Oh yes indeed

    • Glass of Heart

      Let them eat what you ordered too.

      • TheBigMilkshake

        LOL Glass of Heart… guess that is the safest course of action… of course I’ll be paying no doubt!

  • ASMs

    Next Bond film would be

    • Sica Ramirez

      Star Wars VIII: Attack Of The Waitresses.

      • Lorrie Loves Math

        Harry Potter and the Deadly Attack Waitresses might inspire J.K. Rowling to unretire the franchise.

        • These movies, I need to watch them!!

          • TheBigMilkshake

            Quick turn on HBO, it’s on now.

        • AlpacaLover <3

          Sounds legit!

      • Will De Jong

        Anticipating that movie!

    • LOL where can I watch these movies?

    • TheBigMilkshake

      Awesomely funny. I’d see it for sure.

    • Arman to the G!

      This is what im thinking. It defly sounds like an action movie.

  • Happy Egg Man

    Hide those knives and forks!

    • TheBigMilkshake


  • Thanks for the pics! I love them!

  • MariCone

    I thought by “VERY FLEXIBLE WAITRESS,” you meant a waitress ex-olympic gymnast or ballerina.

    • TheBigMilkshake

      I think it does MariCone, and I did ๐Ÿ™‚

Smiles For All