A Hole New World

piercing

I was always a very determined or, as anyone who wasn’t my parents would say, stubborn child. When I wanted something I worked very, very hard to get it, and sometimes that meant gloriously failing to see the forest through the trees. A perfect example of this is when, at the age of 11, I decided that I wanted to get a second ear piercing.

My first ear piercing was handed to me at the age of 9. As a younger sibling, I often got to hitch my wagon to whatever my sister wanted, and this was no exception. She wanted to get her ears pierced, and I think my parents figured if they were going to have to orchestrate a piercing-cleaning regimen for one child, they might as well do it for both at the same time. So, without much effort on my part, I got my first ear piercings.

Not so easy with round two. There were a few girls in my grade who had two piercings on each ear and I basically thought they were the epitome of cool. Everybody had ONE piercing; I wanted to join the elite ranks of the double-piercing, and I wanted to do it before the rank didn’t become so elite. I knew this trend would catch on, and like the Original Hipster that I was, I wanted to be cool before it was cool. So I asked my parents and they replied with a resounding, “Hahahahaha no”.

I tried discussing it with them in an attempt to figure out to what exactly they were objecting. It was around this same time that my dad decided I should probably be a lawyer when I grew up. I didn’t agree, but that didn’t stop me from attempting to build my case. Eventually, the reason my parents seemed to settle on was that I was too young to be sure I took care of the piercings as my Mom didn’t want to coach me through another cleaning schedule.

How to show I could keep a schedule, even to something that could be unpleasant at times? How to show that even at age 11, I was mature enough to clean my ears every day? Well, what else needed to be cleaned every day? THE DISHES, that’s what. I can’t be sure exactly how I came up with the idea, but I proposed to my parents that if I washed the dishes after dinner every day for a year, I could get my ears pierced again. And they agreed because they figured I would forget about it the next day. It was almost January. I would start at the beginning of the New Year and I was sure by that time next year, my ears would be just a little cooler.

My parents were merciless in making me adhere to the rules, as they should have been. If I stayed at a friend’s house for dinner, they left their dishes there for when I arrived home. If I was sick, it was up to me to get it together enough to wash those darn dishes. They had absolutely no reason to want to show clemency for any reason, and I stepped up. I made it all the way until the end of November, when I learned that there were limits to how much I actually wanted to be cool.

Thanksgiving broke me. The pile of dishes that I faced after gorging myself on the great American feast was too much. The tryptophan clouded my senses, and suddenly getting a second piercing in my ears seemed about as necessary as another bite of stuffing. Not. Gunna. Happen. So I threw in the towel. Fewer than two months from my goal, I gave up. My parents later told me that they were actually incredibly relieved because they never even thought I would get as far as I did and they really didn’t want that double-piercing to happen. Obviously they were determined to keep me from being cool, or perhaps they were determined to not be the parents of an 11 year old biker chick. Either way, they won.

I wish I could say that this whole experience taught me what was really important in life. That I wish I had stuck to it and powered through, or inversely, that I realized true beauty was on the inside, along with four pounds of turkey, and superfluous piercings were never going to make me happy. But…none of these things happened. Instead, I was disappointed, but had apparently gained enough maturity through the months to realize that hey, you know what? There were a lot of other things I could get at the mall that I thought would make me cool, like the entire inventory of PacSun, and I’d get my additional piercings in time.

About a year later, I finally got my second ear piercing and it was everything I dreamed of and nothing special, all at the same time. My social status remained about the same because, seriously, how much cooler could I get than having an entire wardrobe made up of Hawaiian-print skateboarding apparel? Don’t answer that question. Let me continue to see my middle school days through heart-shaped, rose-colored glasses that were definitely on sale at Claire’s. And I’ll continue to get spur-of-the-moment piercings that I later remove in memory of all that I lost that Thanksgiving. And we can all move on with our lives with the hope that someday, somewhere, some little girl will do what I couldn’t: overcome extreme fullness to win a bet against her parents in the name of Cool.

(photo courtesy of Stuart Miles/Freedigitalphotos.net)

Amelita Lijek About Amelita Lijek

Born and raised in a Boston suburb, Amelita is heart-breakingly Boston-accent deficient. This deficiency, among many others, has driven her survival instinct to find the humor in all things, even if they are not cat-related. An avid writer, tweeter, and sleep-enthusiast, Amelita can be found regularly cavorting around New York City improving (IM-prah-ving), sketch writing, and seeking out free samples and Wifi (WHY-fy). She also has carefully cultivated Twitter (@aaaamelita) and SoundCloud (soundcloud.com/aaaamelita) accounts, both of which will most likely be cited either as a) her first ventures into a wildly successful comedy career or b) her first ventures into a wild descent into madness or c) a little bit of both.

Amelita Lijek About Amelita Lijek

Born and raised in a Boston suburb, Amelita is heart-breakingly Boston-accent deficient. This deficiency, among many others, has driven her survival instinct to find the humor in all things, even if they are not cat-related. An avid writer, tweeter, and sleep-enthusiast, Amelita can be found regularly cavorting around New York City improving (IM-prah-ving), sketch writing, and seeking out free samples and Wifi (WHY-fy). She also has carefully cultivated Twitter (@aaaamelita) and SoundCloud (soundcloud.com/aaaamelita) accounts, both of which will most likely be cited either as a) her first ventures into a wildly successful comedy career or b) her first ventures into a wild descent into madness or c) a little bit of both.

Smiles For All